miss jamie’s post had me in tears when i read it (you should too!). i realized that depression isn’t just for jr. high girls and middle aged women. it affects everyone. everyone. jamie’s willingness to share her experience has inspired me to share mine.
i told jamie exactly what my therapist told me, two years ago:
God will never take us through something that we cannot make it through. Jamie and i both went through hell and back in our experiences. but we came through. and although i still struggle with mine every now and then, God has a purpose for my pain. He’s given me this strong, strong platform to reach other people struggling with the same thing that i did/do.
depression is never easy. never, ever.
in 8th grade (so young, i know. ha) i felt as if i had everything for a while. i was so happy with my life. i was a cheerleader, i had beautiful, loving friends, and i was just all around pleased with the way things were going. but i became friends with another one of the girls on my cheerleading squad, and she introduced me to a darker side of her life. pretty soon, just hanging out with her made me feel depressed. then i was paying attention to all the trouble there was at home. my parents would fight a lot, my brothers and i never got along, i just wanted to be somewhere else all the time. thanks, in large part, to this “friend”. pretty soon after this, i started cutting myself. in 8th grade. my family found out, and i promised to stop. i was embarrassed and i just wanted to quit for their sake. but in 9th grade, even though i was seemingly ok, i started again. i don’t even know why. it was like i missed cutting, even though it brought more pain than relief or satisfaction. i just kept doing it. finally, i broke down and told my mom about what was going on. she put me in counseling, and i worked through my problems. to this day, i still have problems with feeling sad, and overly stressed out. over the summer, i developed a minor anxiety disorder, and i started having anxiety attacks at least 3 times a week.
but i’m getting better. and i hope to use this as a way to reach people. i would love to do an internship in the next few years with to write love on her arms.
i have plans of majoring in psychology and minoring in either religion, or art.
the ultimate goal is to be an art therapist.
but. yeah. my story.
its a hard one to tell, but i’ve found that talking about it helps me.
and me now.
i love you all <3